You made me cry and you don't even care
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
