Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
