we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
