So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
