maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
