I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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