The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this will be a night to untag.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
