The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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