i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
