Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
