Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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