Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it hurts more in the daytime
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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