Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
