We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
