btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
