the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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