Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
