U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am spending my child support on dildos
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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