Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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