Your tits are I can't wait for
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
