did you get engaged???
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
