And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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