just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
