Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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