I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
