Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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