So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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