ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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