Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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