After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
