There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
