Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
