So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
