Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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