He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
