Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize