I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
