YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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