I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
