Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
