You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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