i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Mom said you looked used
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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