Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
