Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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