My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
