what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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