how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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