Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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