Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
