Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
