you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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