first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize