I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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