We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
