Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
