I think scott just propositioned me for sex
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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