the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
