I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
