"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
